I like to think my parenting style is just like any normal person. I lecture, I love, and I let them learn. I have been completely blessed with amazing well behaved children. I like to giggle when other women try to go around saying “omg Shanis is such a bad mom” if I’m such a bad mom then how are my children so wonderful? I rarely get overwhelmed, never ever have any of my children have had a mental breakdown in Walmart or any store, my son holds doors and says “yes mam”, my daughters use compliments instead of put downs, and all of them are the most soft spoken amazing kids. Who taught them that? I DID!
One thing I’ve notice that has had a positive impact is complimenting. Perfect example was today. We had many friends and family over for the Bears vs packers game (since we are from the Chicago area this is a HUGE game!) well no man or woman like kids jumping in their face while trying to focus on a football game. Today I asked the kids to all play outside (its a beautiful 78 degree day and that will be coming to an end soon). After 2pm I realized they have been outside this entire time they grabbed their lunches ate on the porch, played in the sprinkler, and rode bikes. I went outside and spent some time with them, when shea my five year old came up to me and said “mom are you so happy we’ve been playing outside?” I confusingly said “sure?” She replied with “well mom you said it would be nice if the kids all played outside and you’d be so happy with us!” Then it clicked I brought shea to my lap and told her how no matter what she’ll always make me happy and added how she was being such a big girl today for playing out side and listening so well! All the kids wanted this same response so I went through it with all of them. They happily ran away and came in at dusk because I forced them. I know positive reinforcement doesn’t motivate all children but it sure did with mine today. Below are a few things I do to help motivate my children!
1. Dollar store: I can get my kids to do anything and everything just for a trip to the dollar store!
Fun drawer: I have little things in it like candy, stickers, tattoos, little games ect. Everytime I see them doing good (ex: holding doors, complimenting, using manners all without being told) I instantly reward them by saying when we get home you can pick something out of the fun drawer so they realize what they just did was good.
Something to look forward too: like the zoo I will tell the kids you keep your rooms clean all week this weekend we can go to the zoo!
Games: I bought tons of card games like old maid, crazy 8s, go fish all from Walmart for 1.97! They will offer to do nice things if I can get them down and Chris and I play with them. I use this mainly when I have a lot of errands to be done.
Helping them: sometime on my cleaning days, I will tell one of the kids if you help me with the livingroom dusting, I’ll help you clean your room! They jump in before I can even finish my sentence.
I never ever have them compete. I don’t see the point they compete all day with other children why should they have to in their home!
Kids are so easy to motivate with the right motivation that interest them. Work with your child and they will work with you!